The Daily Paragraph

The 3 Worst Washington State Cities To Raise Kids In

If your a mother-to-be or just a mother-in-law who wants your kids, or grandkids to grow up in the best place possible, and you happen to live in Washington State then read this article. Where I will tell you the 3 best Wa-State Cities/Towns to NOT raise your kids in. Cause the “Nots” are just as important to know as the “Do’s”.

Seattle

Seattle is for addicts, alcoholics, and people who are really close to getting their big break, man. So unless you want your kids to be any single one of these 3 things… your already a terrible parent.

Seattle is where you don’t find heroin. Heroin finds you. Then when you realize that a giant syringe is walking towards you, you have to ask yourself a really hard question: Did I already shoot up, or pop one?… or is that the worlds shittiest rehab mascot… can’t you just see that places slogan!

Darkleigh Rehab – The Place An Addict Who Has Absolute No Intention Of Getting Clean Goes. Trust Us. We Don’t Work, But We Will Play Around With Your Test Results To Make It Seem Like We Do. Darkleigh Rehab: To Make Us Seem Sincere We Call Ourselves “Family”… But We Are Not, and I cannot stress that too much, so please don’t show up at ny house during Thanksgiving, Or Christmas.

Glenoma

You’ve probably never heard of “Glenoma Washington”. Let me sum this up in one word: Incest. One of the main reasons you haven’t heard of this town is not because of its 797 person population, but because there has been so much incest they can no longer pronounce English. They speak some weird Greek-like language. And like Greeks the people out their are… more than simply “brothers”

If your looking for a small town, then Choose Morton, Randle, Or Packwood. But if your rich enough just get a vacation home in Green Water. Cause honestly that’s close enough.

Covington

Covington is quite honestly a hotspot. It’s one of those places that is just rising, and rising. Property prices are increasing, stores are increasing, and whatever you don’t need you can get from any of the cities that surround it, like Auburn, Or Kent.

Oh wait a second…. I think Auburn, and Kent have incredibly high crime rates, and right in the middle is Covington. Then add to that fact that Covington is–most likely–going to crash. Rollercoaster, my children. Rollercoaster. What goes up, must come down, the higher you go the greater the fall, and faster you go up, the faster the fall you have down. Its bound to crash, I mean Seattle crashed.

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