The Canine Lampoon: Don’t Tease (Editon #1)

This Section of The Canine Lampoon Was Written By: Koda Bear The Rat Terrier

Don’t Tease

How would you feel If I waived some delicious chicken liver in front of you? Huh? Then I took it away right as you were gonna bite. That would suck wouldn’t it? Well that’s called teasing. And us dogs hate it.

I mean seriously. Your walking through the park, and a poodle eye’s you, and because your owner teased you, you just don’t have the courage to bark at her. #TeasingKillsSelfEsteem It does!!!

Teasing is just another form of bullying, and if you do it that means that your just what us dogs call a “Mother-Barker”.

This Section Of The Canine Lampoon was written by: Roxy the Lhasa Apso

The Modern Dog: An Apology Too Cats

I would like to apologize to all cats that were persecuted by our catist ancestors. It is a shame that dogs ever harmed any cat in general just because they look different. A Shame I Bark You! And can you even believe that it is the dog-year 14,333 and we still have these catist’s living among us. They make me embarrassedembarrassed I say!–to be of the same species as them.

This section of the Canine Lampoon was written by: Piggy The Staffy (Aka Pitbull)

Dog News: Are Belly Scratches Decreasing?

Us dogs live for many things: The morning bark, the treats, the walkies, and the tummy rubs. However as I, and many dog’s alike have noticed: Belly Rubs are decreasing at an alarming rate. We blame the talking window with people inside of it. Humans have gotten… lazy. Some humans don’t even acknowledge their doggo’s anymore with the neccessary tummy scratch.

And by staffy’s law all humans must give belly rubs to all dogs. Since this constitutional right is being threatened we reached out to the President of the United Doggo Allegiance, Oscar The Aussie, and asked him to deal with the situation. He then reach out to the humans U.N. He was immediately met with the response “Aw whose a good boy–whose a good boy?”. Classic human…

The Canine Lampoon is written by: Koda Bear, and is published by H2DIpets, a subsidiary of Find us on Twitter by Clicking Here, and donate to our site by Clicking Here.

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Also published on Medium.